A Journal Entry

This won't be the most exciting post for you all to read. I began writing on this blog a few years ago for a few important reasons. First, it is my journal. I believe that this will be a priceless record of our lives in the future for both me, my children and grandchildren... Second, it is a wonderful way to keep our family and friends updated with all that is important in our lives. Thirdly, I enjoy it!

So this is more of a journal entry... read on if you care to know Melissa a little (or a lot) better.

I have had a lot of thoughts going through my head the last few days. I think the last 3 years both Adam and I have been desensitized, in a way, to our emotions. In other words, we have been really just plugging along, trying to make it through this exam or that rotation, not really focusing on our spiritual and emotional needs. Life has been good, but life hasn't been very spontaneous or spiritual. Both of us have felt for a long time like we were in a rut, a spiritual rut. And its not like we haven't done the things that we should have been doing. We are good to our children, we try our best to serve those who need our service, we are good friends and neighbors, we read our scriptures daily and pray always. So, in short, it has been frustrating.

I have good news though. We both feel like we are coming back alive in a lot of ways. Maybe medical school has been harder on us than we realize. There hasn't really been time or energy to focus on our deeper needs and on things we enjoy. Finally, we see the light at the end of the tunnel. Adam is heading toward the end of medical school. We are thinking a lot about residencies and houses that we would like to buy. We have a new baby on the way. Adalin and Kira are growing up and are wonderful girls.

Sunday was a wonderful day for me. I have been a Primary teacher for the last year, teaching the 6-7 year olds for 2 hours each Sunday. It has been difficult for me some Sundays to hardly get any spiritual revivement at all between taking care of my kids during the first hour of church and other people's kids during the last 2. For the first time in months, I heard exactly what I needed to hear during that first hour.

To put it shortly, I made some of the most crucial decisions of my life when I left for college. I left behind people I cared a lot about, a place I loved and habits that had to be broken. It was hard. I got into some very good schools like UofM and MSU that would have allowed me to stay closer to home. But when I opened that letter from BYU, I knew that was where I needed to go. It was the place I least expected myself to go. The way I lived my life then, I probably didn't deserve that prompting from the Spirit. But the Lord saved me from a life that I would have lived if I would have stayed here, a life in which I never would have been truly happy.

On Sunday two people gave talks and, without even knowing it, they confirmed that the decisions that I made years ago were the most correct and inspired of my entire life. It was an amazing experience for me, one that I needed right then. BYU is an amazing place that strengthened my entire being. From the statues on campus to the professors that were so much more than teachers, I was always reminded of the essential things in life. It is exactly what I needed. It was shortly after arriving there that I met Adam. Again, exactly what I needed. He has always strengthened me in ways that he doesn't even realize.

I feel like these song lyrics hold so true to my life:

I set out on a narrow way many years ago

Hoping I would find true love along the broken road

But I got lost a time or two

Wiped my brow and kept pushing through

I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through

I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you

But you just smile and take my hand

You've been there you understand

It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Now I'm just rolling home

Into my lover's arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you.

It is just a serene feeling, to know that God has had a plan for me all along. That the things in my life before I met and married Adam, shaped me into a person that would be perfect for him and into a person that deserves a life of spiritual richness. That He really has been beside me with every step I took, for good or bad.

I am grateful for my life, my husband, my precious children, my family, friends, talents and trials. They are all part of a grander plan that is coming true.