I feel like I need to pay a little attention to Adalin on this blog, and in real life. Don't think that I ignore the poor child, however, her attitude has really been getting to me the last few days and I am finding the last thing I want to do is pay special attention to her when, in fact, that is exactly what she is in desperate need of. She has been particularly hard to manage the last few days and I feel often like I am at the end of my rope, so stressed and almost angry-feeling. I try so hard to be a good mother and be patient and level headed all the time. This is one of the hardest things I have ever tried to master. Harder than complex analysis, multi-variable calculus or number theory even.
So I am wondering who made up the phrase, "Terrible 2's." Whoever it was was a weirdo and obviously has never lived with a 3 year old. What is sad is that I am finding Adalin doing things that are naughty, like yelling, and I realize that these are the exact same things that I struggle with myself and do in front of her. I am always yelling at Yukon when he chews up my rugs, rips open a full bag of expensive Dutch Cocoa on my rug, poops upstairs, jumps up on me when I walk in the door... ( I could go on and on.) So it makes complete sense why Adalin is beginning to yell at the dogs and Kira when they do something not on Adalin's agenda, its because she sees me yell. It's ironic that what frustrates me the most about Adalin's behavior are the things that she has learned from me that I struggle with myself. Ah!
Adalin is a very sweet child. She has a heart of gold. She is incredibly smart. The other day we were driving into town after a little day trip and we passed our street on the main drag because we had one more place to stop by. Adalin notifies me immediately, "Mommy! We passed our street!" How the heck did she know that?
I really think that her 3 year old-ness is a result of me not spending enough planned/organized/activity-filled time with her. We get so caught up in going here and there, doing this and that on the computer or on the phone that I just expect her to entertain herself for a lot of the day. I think that she is just demanding more attention and is in need of more structure. It has been a long winter and she is as anxious as I to get going, get out and start doing things with her mommy.
So I guess I want to say that I am sorry Adalin for pushing you aside too much. This is hard for me to say that where so many other people will read it, but my hopes are for some advice on how to balance the needs of my kids while keeping up with all the other things that life demands. It is a daily effort to balance really nurturing my kids while doing everything else. My kids are the happiest when I just lay on the floor upstairs with toys surrounding me and play with them, sometimes just watching them play. They are content. But I can't do the ALL day... Maybe all they need is a little more.
5 comments:
I don't have any advice, we've got the same problem - but I sure know how you feel. Hang in there - before we know it they will be at school all day and we'll wish they were hanging around more needing attention.....or will we???
We want you to know, too, you're not alone! Pohai has been similarly difficult lately, for all the same reasons you said. We need to come up with a new phrase like "terrible 2's" for the 3's. How about "throw-in-the-towel 3's"! You're such a great mommy, though, sure things will be fine. And thanks for the comfort of knowing we're not alone in dealing with some of Pohai's moments, too!
Ive always heard 3 was worse then 2s. As it goes terrible twos, testy threes.
The threes are worse?!? Great :) I think the most important thing is recognizing they need more attention. I hate when I look back over the day, wondering why she was so hard, and realize I didn't read one book or play one game with her. Ah...this motherhood thing. Hang in there.
I think the phrase I have heard is "Trying Threes". Most people do say that 3s are worse. I am in trouble! I hope the warm weather and going outside helps all of us!
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